Despite my past..

Well here I am world! And I don't know where in the world I am but I'm here. And I guess I am doing great! I got my truck… 66 Ford F150 flareside, my dream! It makes me so happy you can’t believe it. She's my girl, her name is BlueBird and she'll be fabulous. And yes, it makes me happy. It brings me so much peace which is weird… Because I know it’s gonna cost me a lot of money to fix it up. But it’s worth it. It’s finally something that is just me, that’s just me. Nobody has ever really understood me. Who I am, what I’m about, who I am inside. Part of it is just that I'm a hickory at my roots, I am a a city cirl raised and pulled from her country South Carolina roots! The city in me is only on my shell...but if you crack it, you'll see the boat-driving, the duck-hunting,flannel and duckboot wearing chickadee, That is the real me, if you ever ever get to it.I am stuck in the Carolina but stuck in DC time.

It’s not for lack of trying, I have always wanted YOU to know me. I have always been here arms wide open, but I seem to always miss the connection somehow. I’m sure people have had their days where they try to understand me. I suppose I’m just not that easy to get. I know I am a mountain to climb, but if you just understood that all the valleys and hills were worth it then then the climb would make sense! I have always tried to be there for everybody, just show everyone around me that I love them.  Many times I have failed. I suppose, at some point, we just can’t be there for everyone all the time. But at the end of the day, I have realized, I can only be there for me as much as I can be. And in that token, whatever I give to everyone else is as much of me as they’re going to get. And I can’t be mad at that! Because it is still a good thing.

Despite my past, or any negativities that people think of me, I’m a very good person. l care about everyone in my life, friends, family, even strangers on the street. I would do anything for anyone. And y’all know that. I’ll know that more than anyone . I’ve only ever asked just for some grace, some mercy. I have only ever asked for some forgiveness and some mercy. If my good is not good enough for you to give me your good enough, well, then, I just don’t know what else to do. Just a little grace will do.(Thtat's what my grandmda would say when she didn't like something), I just don't know what else to say...i was made to live ina different generation ...